Igniting Spiritual Passion & Inspiring Significant Growth in Men
6 Steps to Win at Home
I never imagined that I would be the nightmare husband...
You CAN be a great man, Husband & Father
There are three types of men in the world. One type learns from books. One type learns from observations. And one type has to urinate on the electric fence. I happen to be the last type. Maybe you can relate?
I was married just before my 30th birthday, and entered family life with visions of Mayberry and “happily ever after” dancing in my head. Not even close.
There was conflict in our marriage from day one, and when our eldest son was born 9 months later, I found being a new dad to be amazingly difficult. I discovered ugliness in myself that I didn’t know I had. I was selfish, angry…mean. I wasn’t the great, heroic leader that I had envisioned. This marriage and family thing was hard! Bloody hard! I wasn’t good at it!
I thrived at work, both as a pastor and a top sales rep, winning many awards. But, meanwhile, at home I wasn’t winning any awards. There was conflict, anger, unfaithfulness, marital separation and even a night in jail. It wasn’t a pretty picture.
I have a core belief that if you are not winning AT HOME, with your most precious people, you’re not winning AT ALL. And for years, I was losing the battle at home. This is true of so many of us men.
I have another core belief that “Nothing changes UNLESS Something changes.” In November of 2015, I woke up to the fact that things could not continue as they were. Something had to change. I had to change. So I determined to change. And things got worse before they got better. But ever so slowly, things got better. It took an immense amount of work, the assistance of a coach, the re-wiring of my mind, learning new behaviors, a lot of prayer, and God’s supernatural help…but things began to turn around. Little by little, I began to change.
Today, my wife and I enjoy each other more than we ever have, and are building a marriage that is honorable. We are serving together, helping others who are struggling just as we have. We will celebrate our 23rd Anniversary this year. My relationship with my three children is not perfect, but is growing steadily and becoming healthier and healthier. I am grateful for second chances. The future is bright. The hard work is paying off.
Brother, I have learned much on this journey, both through failure AND success, and have acquired some hard-earned wisdom that will significantly help you as you strive to be a great husband and father. It would be my pleasure to share it with you!
Let’s go on this journey together! It would be my honor to walk with you.
If my story resonates with you, I would love to take you through my FREE “Ignition” Brainstorm Session. During this 60-minute call, we’ll talk about what your life looks like CURRENTLY, we’ll clarify how you would like it to look in the FUTURE, provide you with some action steps that you can begin to take RIGHT NOW to help you move in that direction, and determine what your best course of action is moving forward. You’ll leave the call encouraged and inspired!
Russell De Vos
Certified Life & Leadership Coach
Certified Life & Leadership Coach with The John Maxwell Team
Russ is the proud husband of Heather, and the father of Sam (22), Hannah (daughter-in-law, 22), Lily (20) and Simon (18). Russ was the founding pastor of Oasis Church, in Bend, Oregon, a church plant in 2004 that grew from 17 to over 1500 people in 3 years. Much of his story flows out of this experience. He is a Certified Coach, Teacher and Speaker with both The John Maxwell Team and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC), and founded The Catalyst Coaching in 2018 to work with men who are struggling like he has. He currently resides in Seattle, WA.